


A Girl Thing

by thealpacalypse



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealpacalypse/pseuds/thealpacalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes when River gets her flirty voice she doesn't mean the Doctor. But- jealous? Who?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Girl Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This little snippet is kind of a headcanon of mine I really love. So I decided to share it with you all and make a ficlet out of it.
> 
> Thanks to my beta Emily. :)

**A Girl Thing**

  
The TARDIS loves River.

Of course she does, because in a way River is her child.  
 _Child of the TARDIS._

The Doctor thinks it’s a bit unfair how the TARDIS just showed River how to fly her and how she didn’t make it that easy for him – he had to learn it step by step and after so many years there are still things he doesn’t know about her.

Sometimes River even flirts with the TARDIS (which makes this whole ‘child’ thing somehow really weird) and the Doctor doesn’t like it when she does.  
Her voice gets all silky then – a tone normally saved for the Doctor these days – and she says all kinds of things to the TARDIS. Things that make the Doctor shiver and cringe because they sound so _wrong_.  
Like:  
“Oh you sexy thing, you make me wanna push all the right buttons.”  
Or:  
“What’s going on, Sexy? You’ve been giving me those strange vibes all day.”

It’s even more confusing for the Doctor because sometimes he gets it wrong and thinks that River talks to him.  
Loads of awkward situations for the Doctor are connected to this.  
Whenever this happens, River laughs at him and says: “Oh no, Doctor, that’s a girl thing. It’s between me and her.”

No, the Doctor doesn’t get jealous.  
Not the slightest bit.  
Why should he be jealous over a space ship? The coolest space ship in the Universe, sure, and one that gives his wife _vibes_ and makes her flirt with her.  
But still.

No, the Doctor is not jealous.  
He always takes it like a man and says: “Alright, then I’ll leave you girls to it” and stomps out, trying not to pout. Sometimes when he’s even more _not_ jealous than usually he adds: “But don’t forget to get back to me when you’re done with your _‘girl thing’_.”

Those girls are going to drive him mad one day.  
  
  
  
(But he loves them nonetheless.)


End file.
